“You are a boy,” someone had said vaguely, so long ago, “but one day you will be a man and have wonderful memories. And strangely, you shall find they both comfort and haunt you. At a time when you will wish as much for yesterday as now you beg for tomorrow.
“One day you will come to a question, of the life you have lived, that will begin very beautifully, but fade to a riddle.” – Mike Gaddis, Turning for Home
I am approaching 50 fast. Less than ten days and I’ll be there. And then what?
None of us know how long we have.
Panic has become
“Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” – Psalm 46:10
There is a longing for tomorrow as well as a wishing for yesterday. Which has greater sway? There is no both. There is no going back, but there is the danger of going backwards. There is remembering good times. There were times when .22 bullets were as plentiful as the squirrels were and the time to hunt them. Times when someone else was making the way. Campfires someone else built after I tried and messed up but learned from so that the next fire starting was better.
There is a longing for growth. For everything to finally be in its place. A longing for wrongs to be made right. And a longing for success. But that is wrong. Success is not to be longed for. Happiness is not the end. It’s not what we work for. If it is, we will never achieve it. Because it doesn’t come from out there, but from in here. Same for success. But the longing is there to experience it.
To be continued…