There is so much that’s great. People. Ideas. Landscapes. Art. Friendship. Courage. Skill. Individuality. Purpose. Love… like the love Heather must have for me. And like the love Jesus must have for me… to give up his life for me on the cross, to redeem me. Me! A chief of sinners.
What do I feel when I realize how retched I actually am … wholly incapable of pulling myself out of the muck I am so drawn to and turning and calling out to Jesus? Because if I am honest, I secretly wish I could be deserving of salvation on my own. I would love to be in control of my own destiny. But I am not. And knowing that causes me to turn my attention toward the one who is.
And as I begin to look at God, I start to see him. I start to know him. I start to realize that He knows me! I can’t hide. I can’t run. Or I can, but even I know how foolish that is. What must it have been like for Isaiah, who, after losing a great king of Israel who followed God and led his country according to Godly principles, went into the temple to find some comfort and found God himself sitting upon the throne, with the seraphim calling, “Holy, holy, holy…,” and his robe completely filling the temple?
Holy. Holy. Holy.
And then I wonder, why me? Why would God ransom me?
And yet …
I still aspire to accomplishment. To meaning. To purpose. Even to greatness.
Like the Man from Snowy River when he went on when others turned back and brought the horses in.
Like the missionaries who went where their lives were in danger in order to reach a people who would ultimately kill them.
Like Augustin’s mom who followed her son from trash to trash praying for the Lord to grab his heart.
I want to be like that.
I want to lead my team well so that they can experience the joy of knowing God as they carry out his purposes in students’ lives and on the campuses in our scope and around the world.
I want to be a part of creating gospel movements of students and faculty on 20 campuses in San Antonio and surrounding areas by 2026.
I want us to be the kind of missionaries whose partners know the difference they are making and find real joy in being a part of what God is doing. For our partnership to be one of the most meaningful parts of their lives, like it is for us..
I want to become a great writer. Influential. Inspiring. And, yes, entertaining.
I want to grow The Base Camp Journal. And Base Camp Beef Company. I want my kids to know hard work. Meaningful work. And responsibility.
I want to finish my race, and like Paul, hear, “Good and faithful servant.”
So why me? Why did Jesus ransom me? Not because I deserved it. Not because I’m cool. Not because he needs me. The answer can only be for God’s own glory.