When I first heard about the Department of Education’s new proposed regulations rescinding its prior rule from 2020, which required public universities to give religious student organizations the same benefits given to other student organizations, not treating them differently due to their religious beliefs or leadership standards, I was a bit panicked.
That panic was quickly replaced with sorrow.
But not before a range of other emotions including fear and even anger.
I wish I could say that I am always full of peace.
But I’m not.
Anxiety is real. I know because (please don’t tell anyone :)) I battle it way too often. I have learned over time to recognize it in myself before it gets bad and can usually talk myself out of any real downward emotional spiral. But not always. Sure, I am able to hide it from most people. But I don’t do too good hiding it from Heather. It makes me short, rude, and pretty self-centered. Or, more accurately I guess, it eases those behaviors out of me.
But isn’t God good? Like how I begin many of my early morning journal writings… “God is good all the time. And all the time, God is good.” Of course he is. Without a doubt. I know that.
I don’t want the DOE to rescind its ruling prohibiting public universities and colleges from discriminating against religious student groups. It just feels wrong on many levels. But it wouldn’t stop evangelism or discipleship on campus. That’s not what we’re talking about here anyway. God doesn’t need permission or acceptance to change lives.
What this post is really about is anxiety. And why I shouldn’t worry. Why we shouldn’t worry. Or even more accurately, this post is about God’s control, goodness, and invitation to trust him. It’s about peace. And experiencing peace… even when life is hard and seemingly out of control.
The last year, and particularly the last couple of months, have been hard and seemingly out of control. I think it stems from biting off more than I could chew in building our house at Base Camp. There have been several times when I have thought that I was doing my very best, but my best just wasn’t good enough. A friend reminded me this morning that’s bad thinking. I’m a firm believer in the principle of doing the best you can and letting the chips fall where they will. But my worry proves that I need to practice what I preach. All any of us can do is all we can do.
I’m realizing that for some reason I don’t have the energy I once did. I’m sure part of it is that I’m getting older. It could also be that I’m not eating right, and worrying too much. Stress is certainly an energy drain. But with all that, I’m sure that I’m entering my prime. I know I’m smarter and wiser than I once was, even though I’m working on constantly improving. I’m not there yet. But I’m not where I was either. This process is turning me into a new person. Even if with less energy, I know my best, most fruitful days are ahead.
I know that because I know that God is involved. I know that he will never leave me or forsake me. I know that God is in control. He is good. He is merciful.
And I think there lies the craziness of our worry. We want to be in control. And when we aren’t in control, anxiety abounds.
But control isn’t our deal, it’s God’s. Our deal is to trust God. Again, I am not made to control. I am made to trust. When I lay my hand to control, I fail. I worry. But when I trust that God is in control, I can experience peace.
It’s not easy. I need to be reminded… often. That’s why I made a little card to keep handy in my pocket.
Because peace is possible, even when life is hard and seemingly out of control.
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:4-7