Feeling good is a blessing. And I’ve taken it for granted.
Generally, I’d say that I’m a pretty healthy guy. Allergies get me every once in a while, but it’s not usually bad, and rarely lasts very long. Until this year. It started in early January with an allergy related cough. Then at the end of January something hit me hard. Fever and the whole bit. That’s gone now but the cough isn’t. But even that will be gone soon and the celebrating will begin.
3 things I’m grateful for from the last week
1. Monday night Bible study
2. The Chosen series
3. That Cru created a culture of care for our staff.
The first third of my 2 month sabbatical has been hard. I definitely came in with high hopes and a good plan. Though we did our best to make the best plan we could, it seems that the Lord is directing my steps differently than I imagined. I didn’t expect to get sick. That’s a big part of it. Not just physically, but emotionally, to plow under and drag the bottom was far from what I expected. Though I guess I should have been better prepared for that possibility. But my bounces off the bottom are getting bigger by the day.
My emotional spiral is partly a result of being too wrapped up in my work. What I mean is, I was probably putting too much emphasis on my effort to accomplish what only God can accomplish. I work to create opportunities for the gospel of Jesus Christ to capture hearts, transform lives, and launch men and women into a life-long adventure with him. I can do my best to create the opportunity, but it’s not my job to change hearts. So, as I work to create those opportunities, I’m trusting that God is really in control.
Sabbatical is stepping away for a time from ministry and leadership responsibilities to focus on spiritual rest, recovery, and significant connection with God, while trusting others, through him, to accomplish the work. It reminds me that I am dependent on God, not the other way around.
And so, yeah, this sabbatical is causing a shift back to resting in the Lord, and trusting that he has his mission under control. Yes, I have an important part to play, and the only way I can play my part in any meaningful way is through the strength that only comes through being connected with Jesus.
Offering significant space to be connected with Jesus through sabbatical is one way that Cru cares for staff. And I am very grateful for that!
What I am learning
To slow down. To wait on the Lord. Timing matters. I don’t have to do it all right now.
3 goals for this week
1. Finish setting all the posts for the yard fence
This project has been goingon for more than 3 weeks. I have been sick for part of that, and the auger I rented didn’t work as well as I thought it would. Nevertheless, progress has been made, and it seems reasonable that I can get it ready for the rails soon.
2. Schedule a stay at a retreat center for a couple of days followed by a trip to visit my parents.
3. Finish the revamp of the Base Camp Beef site.
Basecampbeef.com makes ordering beef simple and offers great rates for shipping. All that. But it is too complicated right now, and it isn’t integrated with the Base Camp Journal. Clear, simple, and easy… that’s the idea.
So, it’s been a hard couple of weeks, but hard doesn’t mean bad. There’s been days where I’ve felt awful. But the Lord is gracious. Depression is real. And still, Jesus loves me. I know he’s good. And I know he sees me. And most of the time, my emotions line up with what I know to be true. And during the times that they don’t, God is tender towards me, and patient. I am blessed. I am loved.
Thanks for reading!